I only hate you because you’re all so charming that my stupid Pisces brain thinks that were meant to be and were going to fall in love and get married and live in a big city in a small apartment and cuddle all day and night while we watch horror movies and drink coffee and then I make us breakfast the next morning, every morning. And then I stay home and make sure the house is perfect while you work and then you come how from work and I pamper you and we cuddle all night once again.
So that’s why I hate you.
I’m not good with relationships. I’m not good at being attached to someone, ‘being’ someone’s. I’m not good at saying what I want. I’m not good at being romantic, expressing myself. I’m scared. Scared I’ll say the wrong thing. Scared I’ll mess up everything. Scared I won’t be good enough. Scared that when you find out my deepest secrets you’ll turn away. Scared that if I really tell you how I feel, I might upset you. Scared to seem too eager, too clingy. Scared of opening up my heart and soul. Scared to let you see the real me. Scared to let my guard down. Scared to get hurt.
But most of all, it scares me knowing that you’ve already found a quiet corner of my heart that you call home. And it would be so easy for you to pack your bags and go, leaving me all alone once again.
So this bitch… Tried to play me. Hahaa. She cancelled on me like 3 times because she was ‘sick’. Okay cool story. But then like awhile ago she asked me to delete her ex off Facebook because like I would post a status about us hanging out and I guess her ex got mad. Whatever. I didn’t even care because its not like we talked or anything. But I was curious if she was posting shit about me or anything so I was at my friend roxys house and her and the ex are friends so I was creeping yeah andddd why the fuck were they hanging out all of those nights…? And oh they apparently hang out A LOT more then I thought because they had a shit ton of pictures together. Hmm that’s funny because last I was told you hate her and wanted to beat the shit out of her. But okay. Fuck you. I really don’t give a shit. Okay maybe a little just because she really tried to play me. But point is, Fuck you. Lick my asshole because Im going to poop on everything you know and love. I’m not good at ranting. /endrant/
Sooo. Had a dream last night about my cute lesbian friend.. She looked a little different in my dream but still. Idk. I miss her. But the chance of something going wrong right now is like 95% so, Idk… She’s on her way to Florida with her ex-gf at the moment, and her ex found out last week that she’s talking to someone else. And she knows its me.. Well I guess Kaitlind told her we arent talking because she wanted to ‘keep the peace’ or something Idk. So. Yeah. I dont know. Ugh.
Okay. Forget what I said earlier. I was just over thinking things as always. I’m going to bed with a smile on my face tonight. c: <3
I don’t understand how you can be so perfect and cute and amazing at one moment… And then make me so mad the next? Like… Why do I even like you, why are scorpios even my perfect match? Like really. Were not even together yet, I just have a bad feeling about this…
I have a feeling my blog is going to become one of those lovey dovey romance blogs sometime in the next couple weeks,
You can all start unfollowing me now, i’ll understand. -_-
It’s 3:20am here daylight savings but anywaysss. So tonight was pretty good. Me and my friend Sahida went out to the mall, picked up Kaitlind (my lesbian friend) on the way. Then went out to eat. And thennnn went to Sahidas ‘boyfriends’ house (they aren’t technically dating yet but.. they might as well be.) So I was me, sahida, Kaitlind, sahidas boyfriend and his friend all just chilled. Then his friend rolls some blunt and during about a… 4 hour period were all just blown, except for sahida because she ‘doesnt’ smoke. But anyways. So of course sahida and her boo thing are all huddled up together and whatever. And then we started watching Chronicle, which is a pretty fucking awesome movie btw, and I’m like ‘Kaitlindddd, why are you so far away?’ (Because she wasn’t on the couch because there want enough room.) And so she’s in this lazyboy and I pulled her next to the couch. Then we ended up all cuddled up next to eachother and holding hands the whole night. x3
It was so cute. I kind of really wanted to kiss her but.. no way I could make the first move..
you were exactly what i wanted and now your gone.